New House Rules: Two people CANNOT have a bad day on the same day. So, when the tsunami of bad luck hits…what do you do? You make a MASSIVE, TRIPLE-LAYER, BODACIOUS chocolate cake that’s spackled, slathered, and plastered with double frostings! Yep. Chocolate cake fixes EVERYthing! And this Death by Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate Cake with gobs of silky frosting was the perfect cure!

 

Yesssssss, indeedy.

Then we topped a few slabs of this totally amazeballs cake with chocolate ice cream. Double scoops. (Like that wasn’t gonna happen. Seriously.)

 

 

 

 

 

And I almost went for the whipped cream. Not kidding. It was that kind of day.

Needless to say – – that’s all I ate that day. And I am not ashamed. Nope. Not one bit. And I may have even licked the plate. Not telling.

Ok. I did. I totally did.

It was truly one of the best chocolate cakes I have ever made. The cake is very moist, not too dense, not too airy and all fluff. Just. Perfect.

And the frostings? To die for.

 

 

 

 

Yes. I made TWO frostings. One incredibly decadent dark chocolate frosting for the inside. And one LUSCIOUS, dreamy-creamy milk chocolate one for the outside.

My secret to a memorable frosting? One you’ll never forget? Good butter!!! REAL butter. Not just any butter, as in low-quality commercial butters that contain sparse amounts of butterfat, absolutely NO.

Definitely not shortening. And certainly not margarine. Not even going there. I go with the best for my cooking and baking!

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of the other secrets to the cake – – high-quality, dutch-processed cocoa powder! I first learned about this amazing product while participating in #Choctoberfest! Simply THE BEST cocoa powder I personally, have ever used. Hands down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously. I may request this cake with my last, dying breath. Ok. At least give me 15 minutes with it. And yes, I WILL lick the plate. And no, I may not need a fork.

Yep. This cake is THAT good! Absolutely insane.

 

 

 

 

And you’ll be happy to know, that it’s made from scratch, too. Not from a box, not from a mix of any kind, yet still easy to make. I promise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are a couple of old-school, secret ingredients that really make this cake work. Firstly, a tiny bit of cinnamon, which acts just like salt when baking, and brings out the chocolate flavors without making your cake taste cinnamon-y. (*The same as salt makes baked goods not taste like cardboard yet not taste salty. Cinnamon does the same thing.)

Molasses, for a secondary sugar to sweeten, always adds richness and depth. Even if you’re used to using dark brown sugar, which contains molasses, (BTW, molasses is what creates “light brown” and “dark brown” sugars), adding a bit of straight molasses is still key. (*I always use un-sulphored.)

And the most surprising ingredient….wait for it….

…regular ole heavy mayonnaise. YEP!! Mayonnaise.

(I highly recommend using either Hellmann’s or Dukes. *If using Hellmann’s though, stir the mayo well before measuring to get the air out, otherwise you won’t be adding enough of it as they seem to really be adding a lot of air now to stretch out their product. Yeah. Not too happy about that, either.)

I can’t say whether or not Duke’s does this, too, as it’s not available in our area. So all I can say is, whatever real mayonnaise you’re using, if it seems “fluffy” and you see a ton of tiny air bubbles, you’ll need to stir it well before using to deflate it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep. This is a very old trick that’s been used for decades, especially during the depression.

And believe me, it really does make cakes extra-super moist! Incredibly so.

THE BEST chocolate cake to ever touch your lips. Not kidding! Everything you dream of that a chocolate cake should be. Right here. And you get to make this cake any time you want!

Sharing is optional…but this does make quite a bit of cake. Enough for a small party, dinner guests, or surprise the one you love and make this monster for Valentine’s Day!

Grab two forks, dig in, enjoy, and just have fun! Laugh yourselves silly. That’s what we did! And boy did we feel better afterward!

 

 

 

 

Warning, though. This cake is very sweet, and will give you one heck of a sugar buzz. So if too much sugar or caffeine from the chocolate keeps you up at night, too — you have my full permission to have a hunk for breakfast.

Why not, right? Who decided what we can eat and when? They sure didn’t ask me!

So be sure to keep this cake recipe handy, as Valentine’s Day is Wednesday! And this cake would make such a wonderful gift!!

Guys, you’ll score HUGE brownie, (er…cake?)…points giving this homemade from scratch cake, and it will surely melt and capture the heart of the one you love. (And be forgiven for the reason you’re making this to begin with.) But seriously, who doesn’t love a thoughtful, homemade gift, right?

And ladies…you make this cake for the one you love, and they’ll be offering to do ALL the dishes (and laundry) for a month!!

This cake is just crazy in love good.

 

 

 

 

 

And it truly is such a wonderful thing, that I so hope you enjoy this decadent indulgence for years to come. I think it may just be my go-to cake from here on out when I need something exquisite for holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and special company!

Or just when we need a little spoiling.

I’m sure that it will become one of your favorites, too. Enjoy! And have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

 

 

 

 

*Frosting Recipes below! Don’t worry! Just scroll down a little. 😉

*Any and all opinions of the products mentioned in this blog post/recipe are solely my own. 

Yield: 12 - 16 small servings

Death by Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate Cake!

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Ingredients

Wet Ingredient Mixture (for smaller metal bowl):

• 2 oz. chocolate (milk or dark), chopped (I just use a regular Hershey's chocolate bar)
• 1 cup unsweetened Dutch processed cocoa powder
• 1 tsp. instant espresso powder
• 1 3/4 cups boiling water

Dry Ingredients:

• 2 3/4 cups all purpose flour
• 1 1/4 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. regular table salt
• 1/4 tsp. baking powder
• 1/4 tsp. cinnamon

Wet Ingredients for Mixer Bowl:

• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup (packed) light brown sugar
• 1 tsp. molasses
• 1 1/3 cups regular heavy mayonnaise such as Hellmann's or Duke's (*do not use reduced-fat or fat-free)
• 2 extra-large eggs
• 2 tsp. vanilla extract

Additional Ingredients:

• shortening and flour for pans

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350°F. (*325º if using dark-coated non-stick pans.) Butter (or use butter-flavored shortening) and flour three 8-inch cake pans. Combine chopped chocolate, cocoa powder and espresso powder in medium-sized metal bowl. Add 1 3/4 cups boiling water, and whisk until chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth. Set aside.

Sift or whisk flour, baking soda, salt, baking powder, and cinnamon into another medium bowl. Using large mixer bowl, beat both sugars, molasses, and mayonnaise until well blended, 2 to 3 minutes. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating until well blended after each addition. Beat in vanilla. Add flour mixture in 4 additions alternately with chocolate mixture in 3 additions, beating until blended after each addition and occasionally scraping down sides and bottom of bowl. Divide batter among prepared cake pans (about 2 1/3 cups for each).

Bake cakes in fully preheated oven 25 -30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool cakes in pans on cooling racks 20 minutes. Run a small knife around sides of cakes to loosen if needed. Carefully invert cakes onto cooling racks, and let cool completely.

Frost inside layers with dark chocolate frosting, and outside of cake with milk chocolate frosting. (*Recipes below.)

 

Yield: enough for a triple-layer cake

Dark Chocolate & Milk Chocolate Frostings

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Ingredients

Dark Chocolate Frosting (For Inside Layers):

• 2 sticks real butter (salted or unsalted), room temp (I use Minerva Dairy Amish Butter)
• ½ cup Special Dark unsweetened baking cocoa
• 2 tsp. vanilla
• ¼ cup milk
• 3 - 3½ cups powdered sugar

Milk Chocolate Frosting (For Sides and Top):

• 2 sticks real butter, (salted or unsalted), room temp (I use Minerva Dairy Amish Butter)
• ½ cup dutch processed unsweetened baking cocoa
• 2 tsp. vanilla
• ¼ cup milk
• 3 - 3½ cups powdered sugar

Instructions

Make the Dark Chocolate Frosting first, frost the tops of the two inside layers, then make the Milk Chocolate Frosting and frost the sides and top. (*Or double either one to use only that flavor inside and out.)

Basic directions: Add soft butter to large bowl, and beat. Add cocoa powder and vanilla, beat agin. Scrape down bowl in-between additions and as needed. Beat in milk, scrape bowl, beat again until creamed.

Slowly beat in powdered sugar until creamy. Add as much as needed to make a spreadable frosting. (Again, scrape bowl well and beat again to make sure everything is incorporated.)