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WTF – White Trash Fries

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I don’t care who ya are, we all have those days when we just plain crave, and emotionally need, some good old-fashioned junk food!! And today was just that day. So be it. 





Life can be overly stressful at times, and though I don’t recommend totally pigging out and stuffing our faces with unhealthy remedies, I do partake on occasion. I do. I admit it!

And sometimes, just the mere concoction that I’ve made, gives me the laugh that I needed. 

And this just happened to be one of “those days”. A day where no matter what you do, everything just goes sideways no matter how hard you try.

So, it’s time for a good old-fashioned, retro junk food treat that will put a smile on even the saddest faces! You might even shake your head and laugh out loud! 

So if you’re in need of a messy face ‘n fingers smile, let’s just laugh off whatever is troubling us and have some fun, shall we? Life is just too short not to indulge ourselves once in awhile, right? RIGHT. 


So these over-the-top fries start with my homemade french fries made from plain ole russet potatoes, unpeeled, and cut into “fries”. They get drowned in some hot oil, and fried until golden and delicious! (*The same way that I make my Copycat 5 GUYS Fries!) 





Remove them from the hot oil, and dump them into a colander lined with paper towels to absorb the excess oil. Toss them with my Fry Seasoning and dump them out onto either….





…brown paper lunch or grocery bags opened up…





…or simply onto a baking rack placed over a baking sheet. Both work, although I do like to get some more of that excess grease absorbed.

Then just pop them all into a preheated, warm oven to hold so that they don’t get cold while you get the rest of your ducks lined up.  





*BTW, my Sour Cream & Onion Fries (Just Like the Chips! would also be really fun for this recipe!! Just suggesting! 



So, anyways, you just then melt in the microwave, and big spoonful of jarred Cheez Whiz, and pour it over the top of your pile of fries!





*No other cheese will do, and you don’t need to add any liquid to it, either! Just microwave it on a medium setting, follow the directions, and give it a good stir just before it looks melted. It will melt beautifully when stirred! (*You don’t want to over-zap it and scorch it!) 





Next, ladle lots of my Best Homemade Ranch Salad Dressing over the melted cheese! (*Be sure to make my dressing the day before, and thin it to your liking with milk, whisking until smooth and pourable, but still thick.) 



*I prefer the bits of rehydrated onions in it, but if you prefer a smooth dressing, just whirl it up in the blender! 





Lastly, just pour out a small palmful of REAL bacon bits and sprinkle them over all!

(*I used Hormel for this, which is real bacon and has 40% less fat than strips of cooked bacon.)  





I mean, just look at that glorious mess!! 





What about this doesn’t bring a smile, or even a full-blown and much needed laugh, right?! Seriously!!!





Homemade fries, melty cheese, homemade Ranch Dressing, and bacon bits? What’s not to run off with and hoard all to yourself, right?! 😉 





Normally, back in my younger days, I used to just dive right in and go for it with the utensils I was born with. But, you can eat these with a fork if you’d like to. 

Hey, it’s your indulgence, go for it any way you want! Today is a no-judge, just make yourself happy day!! 





And BTW, that killer sandwich you keep noticing on the side? That will be coming soon, too!! 




So. If your day, week, or even year, has not been kind, and you just need something to put a big ol’ smile on your face too, this is it. Yep. Make a double batch. Life is short.

At least the fries and Ranch Dressing are homemade. And who cares about the real bacon bits and the yellow mystery cheese, right? If it tastes good and makes you happy, what’s the harm in that?

These WTF – White Trash Fries are actually very delicious, and so much fun to eat! And you can add any of the “extras” that I’ve suggested below for those days when you think if one more thing happens, … you’re gonna need an alibi. 

Be sure to save this recipe to your Pinterest Boards! Hope you all enjoy!! (And I sincerely hope that you make these just for fun and aren’t bogged down with unfair troubles and stress!) Life isn’t always fair, but remember, tomorrow is another day! And things will surely get better. Take care, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!  


NOTE: *No offense is meant by the “White Trash” reference in the title. A friend of mine explained it best to his much younger sister once. She asked one day, “Gary, what does “white trash” mean?” He simply said, “It’s something that rich people made up to make fun of poor people.” She looked back up at him and said, “Are you white trash?” He answered, “I reckon I am.” And she said with a big smile, “Then I am, too.” 

That always stuck with me. And I’m happy to say, that I’m “white trash”, also. 🙂 



WTF - White Trash Fries

WTF - White Trash Fries


  • 2 russet potatoes, unpeeled and cut into fries
  • canola, vegetable, or peanut oil for frying
  • Fry Seasoning to taste (*below)
  • 1/4 - 1/2 cup Cheez Whiz, melted
  • 1/4 - 1/3 cup my Homemade Ranch or Blue Cheese Salad Dressing
  • 2 - 3 Tbl. crumbled blue cheese
  • 1 - 2 Tbl. finely crumbled bacon bits such as Hormel

Fry Seasoning:

  • 1 tsp. salt
  • 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
  • 1/8 tsp. regular black pepper

Optional Extras:

  • finely chopped red onion
  • pickled jalapeño slices
  • finely chopped parsley
  • sliced green onions or chives
  • fried crispy onions


Wash potatoes and pat dry. Leave skin on, and cut into fries while heating up a deep frying pan or dutch oven with oil. Rinse potatoes with cold water in a colander, and place between layers of paper towel, patting dry.

When oil is hot, add fries and cook until deep golden and tender inside. Transfer to a paper towel lined colander and shake and toss with Fry Seasoning as desired, then dump onto a wire rack placed over a baking sheet. 

In microwave safe bowl, melt as much cheese as you like, stirring until melted and creamy.

Place fries onto a serving plate, pour melted cheese over the top, then ladle lots of homemade salad dressing over the cheese. Top with lots of blue cheese and bacon crumbles, and garnish with any or all Optional Extras if desired. 

Serve hot and enjoy!


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